Actual Email I Received

“Can you explain why you haven’t put [the data] I haven’t given you yet on the updated webpage?”

Ummm, because Matt Smith is using the time machine just now?

Ummm, because you’re wearing that stupid helmet of Erik’s so I can’t go all Professor X on you?

Ummm, because you’ve had emailing me privileges revoked until you can make sense?

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