It’s the very nature of inflation that prices rise; over time we have to pay more for things. This is not a new concept, it’s been happening for years. I thought – apparently somewhat foolishly – that we all knew about inflation, but apparently this is a dirty, foreign alien concept to bus passengers. Continue reading
If you’ve paid any attention to anything in the news recently that doesn’t include rioting or bombing the bejeezus* out of anyone who riots a bit too much, you’ll have noticed that the UK Higher Education Sector has been royally screwed over by those elected to hold the purse strings.
(*Although it some cases I’m sure it’s their very lack of bejeezus which is stoking the invasion-happy international armies.) Continue reading
Banned Books Week 2010 has come to an end, a week where people all over the internet have been up in (virtual) arms about filth we shouldn’t let corrupt innocent little children / the fictionalisation of things which happen every single day* (*delete according to personal views). Continue reading
Ooh eeh ooh, I wanna be like you-ee-oo…
…Or rather I did, once upon a time, but upon recent contemplation I’ve had second thoughts. Continue reading
I’m not going to lie, penguins are pretty awsum. As birds go they are, without a doubt, the coolest. The only other one which even comes close is the kakapo [which is essentially a parrot that got too fat to fly so it just waddles about looking a bit dopey and getting eaten].
To your right is a penguin, a Gentoo penguin to be precise. He lives at Edinburgh zoo and was more than pleased to pose like the tuxedo clad starlet that he is for the papperazzi tourists. Normally he would be found living somewhere in the Antarctic, so Edinburgh is positively tropical for him.
Penguins are often the joke of the bird world; they can’t fly, they just waddle, slide on their stomachs and occasionally fall over. I think, however, this is just part of their ploy. If I’ve learned anything for spy movies it’s that some of the best spies are the ones you can’t help but miss; they’re the ones in the middle of the room bumping into things, knocking things over and generally being the quintessential buffoon. This is the penguin.
Behind the flapping and falling they are up to something, of course they are. Why else have they set-up shop miles from civilisation? If you had the choice you wouldn’t pick to stay at the South Pole, would you? Unless, of course, you needed a lot of uninhabited space to get up to your neferious deeds without anyone snooping around. They’ve already let they ninja-swimming skills slip out; whatever penguin did that first must’ve got nothing but stick from the rest of his penguin mates: “Jeff, what are you playing at, they know about the swimming thing now. You better not tell them about the laser eyes or we’re feeding you to the Timmy the killer whale”.
I don’t know what they’re up to, but I when the revolution comes I’m taking their side.
Last year UKBA introduced a new points-based immigration system; this, for the most part, was a success. When it came to student visas Entry Clearance Officers no longer had the right to reject applications just because they didn’t think that the particular student was suited to studying. The points-based system let the universities choose which students they wanted based on their qualifications and experience alone. In terms of visa it was 75% the university confirming they wanted the student and 25% the student being able to afford it. From universities’ point of view this worked fairly well, they continued to get as many – if not more – students.
Later this month UKBA are adding an extra hoop for universities to jump through: the CAS system. In short it is a computer database registration system which will seemingly only add an extra amount of data inputting. It hasn’t been designed for high volume input and will result in administrative duplication across the sector [there will, inevitably, be a few institutions, which have aligned their student records system with the UKBA’s CAS system, but they will – undoubtedly – be in the minority].
The main criticism of the introduction of this whole system is that there is no way to cap the number of visas issued worldwide; if someone meets the criteria they are granted the appropriate visa. Therefore in yet another change to the system UKBA are attempting to tighten the regulations which will limit the number of visa issued. I understand how this makes sense for some of the categories of visas (where the applicants are coming to work, for example) or any where the applicants will be taking from and not contributing to the economy.
The restrictions, however, are being targeted at the Tier Four (student visa) category; limiting the number of fee paying students who are coming to the UK. Tier Four regulations ensure that the applicants have enough funds to pay their fees and support themselves (and any dependants) throughout their course of study. These are not people who will be coming to the UK to claim benefits, scrounge from the government or steal jobs from the natives. Providing the systems is policed correctly from UKBA’s end (as it certainly is from the educational intuitions’ end for the other option is simply not worth the risk) then the system will – or rather should – work perfectly.
This proposed idea that international students should have to pay a cash deposit on entry to the UK which will be refunded when they finish their course and leave is a ludicrous idea. Those who are determined to come to the UK legally and then stay illegally will simply factor in that cash deposit to their plans and write-in off as an entry fee. In order to make the deposit high enough to stop that from happening with the most determined illegal immigrants it would prohibit the genuine students from getting the education they want, need and can afford.
These new restrictions (not including the ludicrous cash deposit), which will have an effect on all tertiary institutions throughout the UK came in the same week as the government’s announcement of cuts to the education budget. Universities (especially post-1992 institutions) rely heavily on the income from international students, most will have been looking to make up the deficit caused by the government’s cuts by increased international fees (increasing the number of students not simply the fees of the same number of students as the fees will then become prohibitively expensive thus resulting in an overall loss).
The third piece of higher education news this week was the dramatic increase in the number of student applications through UCAS (this is being touted as some miraculous upturn, in reality the reports are neglecting to note that nursing and midwifery students are applying through UCAS for the first time (they previously had their own application system), obviously this is going to increase the numbers). The UK has a long held reputation throughout the world as a provider of top quality education. It doesn’t take one of our highly trained (and yet unemployed) graduates to see that increasing the number of students while simultaneously decreasing the budget to education said students is going to lead to a decrease in quality (not to mention the multiculturalism which makes our students rounded citizens and not just walking, talking textbooks).
I understand that the majority of these regulations are aimed at stopping bogus colleges and English language intuitions but by targeting the sector as a whole the UKBA is tarring us all with the same brush. Instead of supporting the genuine institutions in times of economic stress they are cranking up the pressure. It goes without saying that the UK is a popular destination for international students looking to improve their English language skills and there is no shortage of unscrupulous “colleges” willing to relieve naïve and linguistically-floundering students of a few thousand pounds in exchange for a visa letter and paperback picture dictionary.
Instead of instituting more and more layers of bureaucracy which only ends up costing the already budget-stretched universities the UKBA should police the procedures they already have in place. By ensuring that those colleges and universities on their Trusted Sponsors Lists (the list which allows institutions to have international students) are genuine and providing a genuine service the UKBA would not have to slap everyone with these heavy-handed and over-reactionary measures.
This whole ever-changing visa applications system just seems like the genuine universities are paying the price for UKBA failing to police their policies and procedures. Instead of getting out there and doing their job they seem too caught up in red-taped paperwork to consider the impact their decision have on great swathes of the country. Every one of their changes seems to be thought up on the hoof and instead of making a plan which will work now and continue to work over a number of years they’ve gone with the first thing scribbled on the whiteboard during their brainstorming meeting, then when it doesn’t work, instead of fixing it they stuff the holes, cross their fingers and pray.
There is an answer to this, but it won’t come right away from chopping and changing, cutting and folding, stuffing and bending policies. It will come when everyone sits down to talk like rational grown-ups, stops acting and starts thinking. We’ve got enough unemployed graduates, let’s put them to use, let’s get them to come up with a workable solution.
Forgive the sacrilegiousness, but I’m not big on Christmas. Sure when I was younger I partook in the traditional Christmas activities: I was in Sunday School Nativity plays [angel, angel, angel, Angel Gabriel, Angel Gabriel, Wise Man, Narrator [and yes I am aware that three of those were boy-roles and I am a girl]] but I never went to Santa’s Grotto and I never got particularly excited about decorating the Christmas tree [that's my little sister's domain and woe betide anyone who gets in her way].
As I’ve aged I’ve neither increased nor decreased in my festivities. I still give and receive presents [and, in complete honesty I do prefer giving than receiving: I love that feeling when you find the perfect present for someone]. I’ve even managed to get the perfect Secret Santa present for this year’s office Secret Santa draw. I don’t know why I put in the effort to Secret Santa; every single time I’ve done it I’ve put quite a bit of thought into it and bought a really appropriate present, I have never received a remotely thought-out one in return. Once I received toothpaste wrapped in a Lidl newspaper.
Even though my office is the institution’s face of internationality and we’re supposedly open to any and every religion, ethnicity and every other facet of human interchangeability [proof, should proof be needed, comes in the form of the model of a mosque sitting under the office Christmas tree. The fact that the office is overwhelmingly made up of pasty white Scottish folks is neither here nor there] we only celebrate Christian festivals. We have Protestants, a pair of Catholics and few undecided or undeclared and then there is the Militant Atheist [capital M, capital A].
The Militant Atheist is seemingly on a one-woman campaign to rid the world of all faith, belief and religion starting with our office. She takes every single opportunity to put down Christianity [I think she's too afraid of being labelled "racist" to treat all other religions to her vitriol]. One of the girls in the office is a little forgetful; she regularly puts stuff down and them immediately forgets where she’s put it, so she does what she’s always done and mutters a quick “help!” to St. Anthony. It’s an almost daily occurrence and the rest of us essentially ignore it and treat it like the ecclesiastical tic that it is. Not the Militant Atheist though. Every single time she cannot let it pass, she has to launch into one of her crusades.
Now for someone who is so Militantly Atheist one would presume that she impugns all Christian festivals, wrong. She loves Christmas, she loves it like – as the cliché goes – a fat kid loves cake. She even tried to get the afternoon off work so she could go to the university carol service. When I pointed out that it was a little strange that such a Militant Atheist wanted to go to Christian celebration, she begrudgingly changed her mind.
It does irritate me that Christmas is such a huge celebration, disproportionally so. Even though I am not a practising Christian [or perhaps because I have recently started practising church-going again] I am seeing Christmas more and more as a Christian celebration and not simply a money-spending exercise. I firmly believe that Christmas should stop being primarily about presents once you start getting presents smaller than you are.
I do understand that for some non-Christians that Christmas isn’t about the traditional Christmas, it’s just as good a time as any to spend some quality sentimental time with family that you wouldn’t otherwise see. You can get together, eat, drink and be merry; catch up on news, reminisce about times past, wear silly jumpers and debate who should be Christmas number one.
Although that last point isn’t strictly necessary as in the head-to-head race this year the only winner is going to be Sony / BMG [RATM and X-Factor winner are on the same label, Simon Cowell is the only winner in this media-hyped competition]. I’m putting my somewhat limited weight behind what is probably, alas, going to be a non-starter, but which, is seemingly the most “Christmassy” of all the songs: White Wine In The Sun. Take it away, Tim Minchin…
The latest “victim of the recession” is purporting to be Borders Bookstores [UK branches]. The stores are currently having last-gasp closing down sales with ridiculous percentage reductions desperate to get every and any last penny they can for what’s left on their now near-empty shelves. The strange thing is, it’s busier than I’ve ever see it before. I don’t, honestly, believe they are truly a “victim of the recession”, instead I think they hadn’t adapted their business model for the UK, they simply copied the version they have for America.
The Boyf has been – quite rightly – complaining about the Facebook groups and petitions set up to try to prevent the impending closures; the quasi-crusaders are claiming that if Borders closes they will lose a social meeting place. These quasi-crusaders don’t seem to realise that Borders is not a meeting place, it’s a shop. It has a profit to make. If they really wanted Borders to stick around then they should have bought books in the first place. Of course the non-book buyers aren’t the only ones to blame, there does seem to be a flaw in Borders business strategy: in-store Starbucks. These social meeters wouldn’t consider meeting in Tesco or Topshop and sitting around for hours not buying anything, why shouldn’t the same be true of Borders?
Yesterday, while waiting for the bus, the Boyf and nipped into Starbucks-in-Borders for some festive-themed caffeine. Sitting at the table next to us were a pair of girls from one of the local universities doing some exam-cramming. Between them they had purchased one coffee and were trying to revise Physics [it was potentially chemistry: one girl was have difficulty getting the hang of it, I felt equally sorry for her and the entry requirements of the university as it was equations I remember from Higher Physics and could still have a fair attempt at]. Having difficulty getting the hang of frequency equations and the changing hertz into megahertz [and also lambda [λ], calling it “that funny upside down v”, surely it’s more of an upside down y, is it not?] she did the only thing she could think of: go and borrow a book off the shelves. After all that’s what they are there for, isn’t it.
At another table behind us, was a mother and her old-enough-to-know-better child; she had given her child a pile of books to keep him amused while she drank her froufrou coffee, when they got up to leave she sent him to put the now-read books back on the shelf.
Herein lies the flaw in Borders: people treat it like a library because Borders has set itself up so it can be used as a library. I, personally, would feel completely awkward about going into a bookshop, picking up a book, reading it over coffee and then leaving. I feel awkward enough if I read more than the back page synopsis; once I crack open a book I feel I have to buy it. Other people, however, don’t have that issue at all. Discussing this in the office, some people believe it’s okay to read an entire magazine in the supermarket or newsagent and then put it back on the shelf. I wouldn’t even pick it up unless I was going to buy it. I’d read the front cover, and even then only the parts which aren’t obscured by the magazines beneath and to the side of it.
What I find most strange about this whole thing is that people treat Borders like a library, whereas the number of people borrowing books from actual libraries is down. Where they have the opportunity to legitimately borrow books they don’t take it. Why?
Sitting in Starbucks-in-Borders The Boyf and I came up with the perfect solution to the impeding Borders closure. Don’t close it, simply re-programme the tills so instead of paying for books they are simply date stamped. They would probably make as much – or more – money on late fees alone. It’s only now I see the problem with yesterday’s seemingly foolproof plan: if you tell people they can borrow the books they won’t want to.
